Entry #375

Suffer For Your Art

2013-09-18 15:00:22 by nietzlawe


Buzzzzzz! Do you read me? Are you listening? Pick up your damn walkie,.. That's an order!

You say order, I say Hors D'oeuvre. Pimps say, whore's there! Its like a Knock Knock joke. Boo Hoo... Wah! don't mock my jokes, I have other rhymes and anecdotes, manic thoughts. Major depression. The majorly deeply rooted impression that I know about Major League Baseball. Hold up, face the wall, brace yourself for the backlash, use a moustache as a seesaw. What does he see? Awe-inspiring things, that you just know will inquire him to think, outside the box. Peak through the peep hole like its a keyhole and you'll see that the norm isn't the be all and end all of bell ends and peeholes. The greatest gratification isn't self-aggrandizing. I need sanitising if I end up damaged by writing a muse that isn't truthfully analysing these situations that we sometimes find ourselves tied in.

I feel lost without words. Words Case Scenario, you wake up souped, but no hands, mute, no glands, And you puke up from a punch in the gonads, by your own Dad! WHAT A TWISTTTTTT!!!!!! Who would think that your own Popa would rupture your testicles? That's not very mature Dad, you've burst the blood vessels. Varicocele, I say check your balls for lumps, but I reckon you're going too far when you're checking your pool balls and the cue ball, just in incase. No need to fear cancer, we sincerely have no answer to cure your abdominal cramp pain. Your doctor if like mine will just laugh it off and prescribe antibiotics. What sort of fucked up Skinz is that mans? You mean this is the end for me? I'm going to spend my last days being eaten by fungus? That's not fun Gus [the name of my doctor].

You said you would suffer for your art Nietz, how far are you willing to go? Before you write your Will using indigo ink. How far ahead will you think before you lose your head and you sink. I'd rather have my corpse wrapped in shrink wrap then rap in front of my shrink, then sink back six drinks that make me think that I'm losing the plot, but really I'm not, I just think back to all those great memories of when I would brain haemorrhage, piss on my best friends then share a beverage with all my worst enemies. For teh lulz, puhl trigghrz at full figured women and watch the bullets bounce straight back after rebounding off the D-Cup with a resounding BOIIINNGGGG! Very springy like Jerry jumping up and down on a new mattress with his new Mistress, eliciting a little stiffness.

Now we're heading inland, time to leave you entrapped like a fat man stuck in the entrance. Now we're heading inwards, straitjackets locked, restrained, this anything but plain and defect brain can't go against the grain without being attacked by a bunch of insane hens. Hensane. Its a new word, look it up, its just as legit as any other word they have put inside a book. Buck Rogers. What for? Speeding. That's unfair, the man's a legend. So was Ledge Zeppelin. I don't see what he is getting done for. You wouldn't pull that shit on a guy like Aynsley Dunbar. I'm impartial to Martians that know Martial Arts and want to probe Marshall's Arse. We have nothing to fear from Extraterrestrials with extratesticles. Its all those shitty extra channels on terrestrial television we should be worried about.

Me worried? Feeling hurried enough to scurry to a burrow crying for Mummy? Nah, c'mon folk, we've already survived 500 imaginary Raptures. So give yourself a rapturous round of applause for surviving an implausible disaster that everybody knows wont happen and is the cause of all this doom-mongering crap that captures your attention and imagination for half a second. Until somebody wakes you up, slaps ya, traps ya by wrapping you up, keeps your body as scrap and eats your gams and hamstrings with a glass of Schnapps. Wowzers! Painful, like Vic-E who had kid-knees made out of stone. New surgical ac-cess-ory, But like Donatella Versace probably said, "Oh my god you've-made-a-total-mess-of-me!" Botox, no lines, no signs you were even smiling. Its called Botox because you Bought a Toxic smile. Brought that foxy smile to the after party. But now your face looks like the afterbirth of an ass shitting out worms. Look on the bright side... because the other side is paralysed.

If you feel offended, tough. Animals die to feed us and clothe us without sympathy. What do you want soldier? A pat on the shoulder? Depths of despair indeed, you know nothing, yet know everything. Reading between the lines, not the words, don't worry its fine, more a sign that your vision is impaired. Your sight is scared to see the truth. Its time to purge you of those deficiencies and Open Your Mind to the improbable possibilities, Animal cruelty is not amicable or cool. Shooting or hunting them with foxes is worse than a school kid experimenting with a drug culture. Vivisections make me livid, ripping open insides injecting viscous liquids, wicked times we live in. Citizens of Planet Earth always on the lookout for aliens. WE my friends are the aliens.

Anyways, something a bit random, Gee Tee Hay 5 was released yesterday... From jail, Wowzers! Trevor, what a legend, Balding and dishevelled, true hero. That guy really knows how to suffer for his art, or make other people suffer for his art. Fictional suffering is fine. Its educational. Hell-for-Trevor I say. Trev revels in severing ties like tendons, but doing that shit was enough to earn him a lifetime sentence in one of Joe Arpaio's tents. Tense times indeed. You'll pee yourself in these pink t-shirts. Surrounded by idiots with idiotsyncrasies... Did you mean idiosyncrasies? No I fucking didn't, shut the fuck up spellchecker. Would you sell a Czech hooker to a fat sweaty Illuminati motherfucker? Does it bother you in the slightest that the Elite eat e-lite cheese and de-light in these scenes of torment?

Not to worry, despite the brutal oppression and mesh wire fences. Humanity is not totally defenceless against these cages and sensors.

Language is Mind Control, wait its not yours... its mine to control.



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2013-09-19 03:16:09

Ooooh GTA 5 is out?! Went right to YouToob! Say, you seen this? http://sirjeffofshort.newgrounds.com/news/post/867240 I doubt they could keep up with you though... you've more art in words, than in the usual storytelling vein....

nietzlawe responds:

GTA V (which might be what happens when GTA met V, reptiles taking over the city). GTA 5 definitely sounds safer. Yeah, it's a pretty good game, lots to see and do, but you could say the same about real life.

I hadn't seen the writing publisher thing. It sounds internally resting. When the time is right I'll cook up a legible storm...


2013-09-19 08:06:51

I will wait for it to come up to PC, and then download some mods for it, after beating the single-player of course.

"Language is Mind Control, wait its not yours... its mine to control." i knew it! you are part of the Neurolinguistic oppressors!!

nietzlawe responds:

GTA 5 has taken the world by storm. My favourite aspect of the game thus far is watching Fame or Shame on the tv, it pokes fun at the Britain / America Got Talent premise. That's what I love about Rockstar, they know how to do satire to the extreme while making it highly hilarious and irreverent.

My mind is continuing to roll heads. Except two of Henry the eighth's wives. Their heads rolled for entirely different reasons. It had nothing to do with me.


2013-09-23 01:43:05

._. hmm, well, glad you got it! No sense in being jelly over your gaming acquisition. I watched a bit of the beginning, and I can't believe the dysfunctional family at the center of it!

Damn near all of your posts are well written. Word play in comedy is over half the battle. When I was getting reference stuff together for Madness day (my art program wouldn't cooperate, so I gave up), I found out that Sanford (Florida) is where Treyvon met George... was gonna do a skittles and iced tea thing..... but I figured the character Sanford, would be an excellent mayor!

nietzlawe responds:

Typical crazy loony zany GTA. Just wait until you see the character Trevor, he's a psychopathic loose cannon, which is why he is my favourite of the three. I was straight in the clothes shop for some red checkered shirts and jeans, then in the barbers to give this guy big wild, but balding hair, glasses, big fuck off beard and a body full of tattoos to complete the look.

Trevor is a guy who boots somebody in the head over and over until they die, then he meets up with the gang of the man he killed and proves that he killed one of them by lifting up his boot and showing them the bit of brain still stuck on his sole.


2013-09-23 03:25:34

Oh reading your joyous tales of greatness by playing GTA-5 is almost making me want to go buy a console then the game and forget that i am still waiting for it to come to PC, argh Nietzlawe why do you have to share your happiness?!!!!

nietzlawe responds:

The game gets even better the more you play it once the landscapes start opening up and you start playing as the other characters. There is just too much to do.

I'm not usually overly enthusiastic about games, except Skyrim, but this one was too good to pass.

I highly recommend that you buy a console and get the game.


2013-09-24 04:30:33

But i don't want to buy a PS3 or and X-boo hoox, even more when their next generation is just around the corner!!! And by the moment that they arrive, the game will be out for PC anyways!!! plus making an count here, i can get a new graphic card and more ram if the game seems to be in need of such things, all of this with the money i am saving while not buying a console of course...

On the other hand i am limited to vicarious experiences of how great the game is... so... do you get all the world right of the bat, or do you have to wait until you get the 3 characters? and do you get to play with more than our 3 heroes? because i remember seeing some gameplay of a guy playing as a woman being all gamer transvestite and shit, like it always happens in gaming... all those girls are actually guys... but the point here is that he was playing GTA-V with a 4th character that was clearly not a main character of this GTA-δΊ”, we all are infatuated with, so does this mean that you can play as a custom character other than the 3 form the story?!!! or it was just the online multiplayer? what where you doing the past Thursday at 4:00 pm? did you hear the neighbor scream for help? what color was the car after it crashed down the river if it traveled with a velocity of 80 mph, with purple coating, and the driver was eating ice-cream? what does the turtle say? is your god a dog or is your dog a god? why is there something instead of nothing? nature or nurture? is being independent a synonym of hipster? talk now soldier the destiny of the galaxy is in your mouth! and hands! careful! no biting you bad boy.

nietzlawe responds:

I think you are better waiting for the PC version, you know it makes sense.

Well, there are four segments all shaped like cones to make a circle. Three of these cones are permanently taken by the three characters, Franklin, Michael and Trevor. In doing one of the earlier missions, I controlled the perspective of the dog Chop, this occupied the fourth slice of the cone. I'm assuming that the fourth space will allow you to take over a custom character at various points of the game, probably including the transvestite you were talking about.

Thursday at 4.00pm? I was at Marky Spark's house having just got the game.

The neighbour didn't scream for help, but if she did, it was probably drowned out by the loud volume of GTA 5 and she's probably already dead by now. I haven't checked.

There was only small spatterings of lavender on the car after it crashed and the ice cream melted, until it came into contact with the river water and turned into white water rafting.

The turtle said, 'take a spray can to the Cannes fest, or Nantes and Brest, then graffiti all over your gran's breasts.'

My God is a Dog, which is my way of saying Delusions of Grandeur.

There is something instead of nothing because nothing is boring. At least something offers movement and sensation, which is more interesting than lyng dormant for eternity.

Nature AND nurture, we must nurture and preserve nature in order to stay connected to reality.

I don't know if independence is a synonym of hipster, but independent is an acronym of I.

I don't have all the answers, but I could potentially break into the vaults of ontology and steal all the questions.


2013-09-24 22:36:34

You alibi seems convincing "General" Nietzlawe, that's right soldier you are now promoted to General, aren't you happy? well you better be, because we are sending you next week to the fronts! we wish you success Mr. Hero of the galaxy!

I see so the 4th slice is for a wild card character, interesting!
Haha no the character was not a transvestite, the player was a transvestite, he was enjoying too much his new found roll as a virtual woman... and well, as an ex-wow player i know that 99.9999% of those female elf priestess where really just a bunch of dudes "exploring" the "class and race", in the meantime creeping the rest with paranoia, good thing it was a game about war, but damn do they try hard that role play.

nietzlawe responds:

No, they can't send me to the frontline! But they can send me to the front of the line to buy a copy of GTA 5. *Just as I get there* "'I'm sorry Nietzlawe, the guy before you just bought the very last one!" -- "GRRRRRGHH!" The guy who bought the last one sees that I am angry and begins to run out of the store as I give chase, in hot pursuit, running past market stalls knocking over crates of fruit and hangers of clothing being thrown into the middle of the street. Then I scramble up a ladder and corner him on the roof, 'It's over dude. Give me the fucking game and noone will get hurt." He shouts back, "you'll never take me alive,' then throws himself off the roof still clutching the game. I look over the edge and see him lying there, a pool of blood seeping out from underneath his head. I close my eyes for a split second then look down again, he is not there and has disappeared! Suddenly the Halloween music starts playing and the camera begins to zoom out with me shouting "NOOOOOO!!" on top of the roof.

I was hoping that the Trivial Pursuit ' esque wedge slices were going to be used for some kind of Trivial Pursuit mini-game. Surely that's never been done in GTA before, a general knowledge quiz. I know there is tennis, golf and yoga, but general knowledge?

I always do that when I'm playing any game, start thinking of things they could have included that weren't. Crocodiles, killer babies, how about a telescope to see the craters of the moon? Dogging, sexy women on rollerblades, a football stadium, a bigger rollercoaster than that pile of shit that we got, the Leviathan, more like the leave it alone I'm not going on it againithan. How about a guest appearance from the IBA?

Damn, this game could have been so much better with the IBA as the Ultimate Mob Figure.

I see. A real worldly transvestite wearing a vest that was tight. Probably a boob tube in a futile effort to scale up the size of his man boobs.


2013-09-25 01:22:45

Damn man that mental image of that transvestite with boob tubes is horrible, lets never talk about it again... (it burns... my brain!!!)

Mmmmh? so you are saying that... this pool of blood which source is missing is from the fortunate fellow who bested at game shopping? ha and you want us to believe that he just wake up and walked away while you were unaware, and in top of it all it took the game with him? nonsense, you are the hero here, you are going to the front lines, we may even let you play a little game boy GTA while you are in service, i assure you, there is no leviathan in that game, as a matter of fact, there is no Rollercoaster of any kind at all!

What are you saying Mr Nietz, i' m sure that "you" can do dogging, and by "you" i mean your dog, i have seem video footage of dog matting... videos of GTA-V of course... which makes me wonder how come we can see dog on dog action and not man on hooker action, or hooker on hooker for that matter...

nietzlawe responds:

A transvestite in a boob tube was burnt to your brain like an ISO image that you might never be fully able to cleanse away.

The guy must have got up and walked away, but honestly, I don't know how he managed to escape in that split second that I wasn't looking, unless he did some kind of athletic leap despite having a serious head injury and the loss of three pints of blood.

A game boy GTA? Talk about living in the dark ages. But that is life on the frontlines I guess. Only enough room for a game boy, a copy of Tetris and a really watered down basic GTA, with no blood, violence, nothing but pathetic pixels that I can barely even recognise. But on the plus side, no 8 GB installation! *Thumbs up smiley*

Yes, I do remember the dog-on-dog action now. I think I will have to give Chop, the chop to stop him from humping other dogs.


2013-09-27 04:41:11

I may not be able to clean the image but i can overwrite it with something more pleasant!!

Claiming ignorance now? we will have to take away the GBA now if you keep being this suspicious!
How come you forgot the sex live of your dog? haha.

nietzlawe responds:

You can overwrite the image, but you might only succeed in blending both the old image and the new image into one dysfunctional scene that causes a aneurysm.

You can take my freedom, but you'll never take away my copy of GTA on the GBA. If you do, I'll commit GBH... Grievous Bodily Atrocities.

I don't want to see dog humping, I'd rather see hogs dumping.