Recent Movie Reviews


School Lunch School Lunch

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Mmm... A jar of nickels. Yes it was always goddamn erosion in Geography class.

Great episode as usual. Always plenty of references that give me belly laughs.


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Pizza Delivery Horror! Pizza Delivery Horror!

Rated 5 / 5 stars

I like this, it was pretty creepy and always feels like it was based on a true story.



NWAR: Cold Open NWAR: Cold Open

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Fantastic. I feel like I can just lose myself in your weird world of wordplay. The way you pronounce every word makes every word feel like a pun or some kind of wordplay, even when it's not some kind of wordplay. It's just a play on words.

She's cutting out the middleman so she can cut out the middle, man. Therapeutic to thine ears.

And the beauty of all this is that you don't neglect the story just for wordplay. It's like the wordplay itself guides the story. It's glorious.

What have I become? It's like my whole review has turned into a danmarkowitz flash movie. And my voice is even reading these lines in his voice. His voice has become my voice. What have we become? Our voice.

*Hypnotic end jingle*


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Recent Game Reviews


Red Lace Massacre Red Lace Massacre

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

I'm still stuck on the first level. Maybe it's because I'm using a touch pad instead of a mouse. I just can't seem to line up my aimer in time. I'll get there.

Cool sounding voice actor. Would be good for a noir'istic point and click game actually.



Cardinal's Carnal Quest Cardinal's Carnal Quest

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Hilariously dark humour

This game is tough as nails, but talking of nails, I've think you've nailed the difficulty just right. I managed to reach level 5 (the one that looks like Frogger) and found myself perishing there. It's a game that keeps you coming back for more though. It's one of those games where you get better as you play it more because once you start trying the difficult levels, you learn to keep the pedometer low on the easier levels and thus get further each time. I found it very tough to aim the mouse and use the cursor keys at the same time while the light beams were pressurising me, it was kind of like trying to rub your stomach and pat your head at the same time. I find it hard to multi-task, but it was fun nonetheless.

The whole game has been very cleverly designed, from the art and instructions to the catchy theme tune and dark humour throughout. I'm really surprised to only see three reviews here as this game possesses a lot of depth (variety in the levels) and requires a lot of skill and concentration to avoid the light beams.

I like the little voiceovers depending on if you have been caught etc. Everything responds very well control-wise and it's nice to see that the legend of the WASD keys were an option for the player.

Once you know what you have to do, the game becomes really enjoyable. And to think I could have been doing the sound for this game. I definitely think it was the right decision to get Mark in as the Sound Producer, as everything sounds crisp and clean, the main theme sounds organic and grows on you quickly.

All I can say is well done on undertaking such a large project and finishing it to such a polished degree. As well as a player, I like to think of myself as a tester too and so I was clicking around the various menus to test for bugs and things like that, but there were none to be found. Not. A. Single. Spelling. Error.

The only thing that I found was that you are a perfectionist and I can now look forward to your next venture into Flash game-making.


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Stickman91 responds:

The first five rooms are just the beginning! If you really enjoyed everything up to Room 5, I strongly encourage you to keep going; you've only seen a small fraction of what this game has to offer.

If you get busted and want to keep going further, simply choose the "Continue" option when it appears; as you've probably seen, doing that resets both the Pedo-Meter and the room in which you were busted. If you can't get through a room without filling up the Pedo-Meter, don't be afraid to rush it: Just touch all the kids as quickly as possible without worrying about how many times you get caught. In almost all cases, doing that will enable you to complete a room with ease while only getting caught a few times in the process (but obviously, your score could suffer enormously if you abuse this tactic).

Marky only ended up doing some of the sound effects (such as the water splash, the end-of-room vocals, and other odds and ends), but he did a superb job with them. All the music is from the NG Audio Portal.

I like to think the game is pretty polished design-wise, but it's nowhere near perfect, and a lot could have been done to expedite its development. Nonetheless, working on it was a great learning experience that Rabid-Animals and I really enjoyed. Getting it completed was one hell of a commitment, but the final product made all the work worth it. On top of that, I think finishing this project was an important step towards being able to design and develop games on a professional level, a goal I'm seriously striving for.

Thanks for the fantastic review!


My Little Pony Dating Sim My Little Pony Dating Sim

Rated 5 / 5 stars

My Little Porno

Trademark blue-coloured animation - Check!
Yellow and orange spinning brainwashing background - Check!
Ambiguous but intriguing plot - Check!
100% perfect spelling as usual - Check!
Nice droning music - Check!

Well done, 10/10, this is everything I go for in a Flash game!


Stickman91 responds:

If you loved this, you'll be nuts about its upcoming sequel! It'll contain all the things you mentioned and more, including:

Additional ponies!
Additional dating scenarios!
Additional sex positions!

Stay tuned!!!

Recent Audio Reviews


My Life With Newgrounds My Life With Newgrounds

Rated 5 / 5 stars

I've just noticed that your narration voice is a little similar to this guy's voice. Starting from 1.10 onwards into the video. Smooth and articulate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QP5J9-D7_jw


VicariousE responds:

Ahhh, he stoled my voice >:(


Landing Softly Landing Softly

Rated 5 / 5 stars

This is an awesome tune, it has that gritty, rugged feel that gives me goosebumps and makes me want to reflect on a moment. The percussion sits perfectly too.

What I would have loved is if at 2.40, the melody came in stronger and more powerful and maintained that level. Maybe a strong solo instrument carrying the song through that final crescendo. The instrument that comes in at exactly 2.38, that instrument, but really letting itself go melodically, possibly with a very subtle and light accompanying instrument.

Overall I still really enjoy the song, but just wish it had that uplifting power at the end.



Zippe - Chip'nChill Zippe - Chip'nChill

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Nice riff in this track that I wish had been used more powerfully and expanded in the final third. The last minute kind of stayed too flat with not much happening. The bass comes through nice and clean and the rhythm is pretty good. I'd probably reduce the volume of the hi hat slightly, so that it just sits and blends a bit more without feeling too much like a standard hi hat. Only at the parts where the hat plays alone without the other percussion. Maybe make it a little lighter in those parts.

Overall, a good vibe from the track, it's clean and sounds nice. But I feel with some more production time, the track can offer a lot more, particularly after the 2 minute mark.


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zippe6 responds:

Thanks for the input! I wanted it to start out chipper then bec ome chill. I do agree getting the levels to sit right is half the battle.

Recent Art Reviews


Notebook page front - betrayal 1 Notebook page front - betrayal 1

Rated 5 / 5 stars

'The six-headed monster that guards the gates of hell.' Move over, Cerberus, we have a new sheriff in town! A very dangerous six-headed sheriff ready to take the reins.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_asbsYpLo4


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Doomroar responds:

!!! how shockingly rude mister, i will have you know that he has 7 heads, the millipede tail counts too.

Man that was one hell of a mammogram.


Notebook page back - betrayal 2 Notebook page back - betrayal 2

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Jagged vicious creatures. Like walking past them would trigger bloody dismemberments and instant castrations. When Dwarven automatons met codex seraphinianus.


Doomroar responds:

You know how it is, they wreck you up, chop you down, then rob you off your manhood just to add insult to injury, so that everyone would read"died a dickless twat" on the grave.


SB P1 SB P1

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Very sharp and mechanical creatures that also double up as cutting implements. Tails, whips and lacerations. To stand in the middle of all these beasts I would feel extremely vulnerable to all of the sadistic weaponry. Visceral.

My favourite part is the hands on top of hands coming out of the water, desperately reaching up in order to scratch a hairy mutated testicle.

First unintentional dicks, now unintentional testicles. I'd best look on my doodle and make sure I haven't added any unintentional testicles.


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Doomroar responds:

Don't worry they are designed to bring quick and painless death, mostly because competition wouldn't allow for them to take their time with their prey, so they have to be fast about that killing, eating and moving on to the next food source, just look at that, some of them are just bones!

Well i would say that there are a pair of... "eggs" just right of the NIETZ-TO-THEIR-LAWE and above NIETZ-SLOW.