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Entry #399

Calm Before The Storm

2/26/14 by nietzlawe
Updated 2/26/14

CALM BEFORE THE STORM

Volume Up... To 100 percent, let's give those melodies something to feed on. Scraps, Feeder songs. You might need readers, glasses, you'll have a blast if you can see this conceited piece of gibberish in which we concede.. completely exceeded our own expectations. Nah, tip of the iceberg, write my words on rice paper and swallow it before people say its libelous. To write without geopolitical freedom = lifeless. Nobody would like this, including the propietor of these unkind assignments i.e. Nietzlawe II... Who does what he do because do he what does Who? Left in the dark, with the light on. Pitching, writing another bitchy piece, synapses itching... Trying to stretch the imagination to unimaginable lenghts, teh end is never in sigth. You gotta write to clear the negative vibes. At the same time you're Bonding Souls, at first you were just writing shit while tired, but then aspired to something higher, now they say Zen-like Messiah. But we say, that they say, crazy, shit, talking out of their modderfodderfucking.com asses... It was never the intention to give the impression that you gave a fuck, back then, when the health wasn't so good and the outlook wasn't so bright, you hadn't reached enlightenment, even now you haven't received that entitlement. Bestow a kid from the worstown. You can't do that, or remove that hat that I just glued to your forehead of your 4th head. Then I forcefed your horse with radish. A dish, which is better than lamb, fish or chicken, beef, pork or Stork margarine. Ogle the norks of the stark-naked Star Wars fan... Female of course, but let's not start wars... Let's continue this irrational but passionate journey into the unknown abyss of Abi Titmuss on a piece of fitness apparatus. Let's piss on our friends, then dance with haters.. Let's masturbate on a plate of potatoes.. NO! Let's stay focused and remain in it for the Long Haul, do it for teh lauhgs and lawls... Scrawling, tarnishing the walls, using the space as parchment for my tapestry, tap in to this, recharge the batteries, it doesn't matter, we can sit and laugh at Rich and Matt from the Snuff Box, happily. Waste time filling up this vacant mind space with great ideas. To release without giving ourselves sleepless nights, weeping without the light on... But tonight the wake up show resumes like a Sumo wrestler eating Sumo sushi... The fucking show only ends when we say it ends. It could end in the next sentence... Or paragraph. Paragraph? You'll be fucking lucky... Don't go making expectations coz I have no intention of living up to them. And certainly no intention of giving up this explicit arrangement of strangeness. Dr. Love, Seuss, Zeus, nothing to lose.. except invisible possessions... Small potatoes, man I hate those, you can't make mash... But the head of this dickhead is mashed with Maria Sharapova, well her rear really, can't compare hers to my rear, which is hairy'er than we originally thought when we were eating Worthers, they were hers, but we stole them, which took its toll from the golem that solemnly did swear that he swore before his lips had time to open... He had something real important to say, but we threw him in the quicksand and watched him sink real slow... Slowsand. Emile Sande can't stand this humour, or understand how the words connect, and the spellcheckers are pissed off at how many fucking words they have to correct... Tough shit, you need to adapt or get slapped in the face with a bream fish, or alternatively, a smeg-coated penis dipped in Wasabi sauce, then wafted under Robert Mugabe's nose... Robert McClarkGable, unstable dictator, hateful prick.. Satan. He's 90 now, sooo almost dead, not long to go. Tick Tock.. Prick Drop... Dead Quick... so that sick head... can perish... I'm moorish for more of this morbid shit... Back in the day there was a thing we used to say, but that quote got lost and the bloke that tried to deliver it got throttled... Like that Day of the Tentacle that tickled ten testicles simultaneously while playing the piano and a prostate gland at the same time... RAMEN RUMOURS! Today I tried sushi for the first time... Raymond was my father's name, everybody loved him, except the inept doctors that didn't try hard enough... Water under the Bridge.. of Resentment. So now I bring to you my hateful presentation that no human on Earth should bear witness to, except a bare witness who is scared witless man because she has just been raped by a rich businessman called Rich Bisnusmann... Sink the Bismarck tis already sunk now its time to dance the funky chicken and eat paella and cut patella. Sell the kneecaps to Neil Capp, its no long handy that Andy is handicapped... But forget about him, what about the magic in these fingertips, flinging shit under your nose so that you can smell it lingering like a singer that can't hold notes or carry instruments... You've ruined that cover, you stupid motherfucker!

Take my last breath and die a horrible death, impossible stress levels, intolerant thresholds. The irresponsibility had took its toll, Took is rolling on the floor laughing his motherfuckin' ass off, while we are curled up in a huddle ball after fighting through a struggle, we fell from the scuffle, just another brawl. Another mental barrier, just another metal wall, but we can get over this by using an aircraft carrier and settle this once and for all. Its time to pull things together before its too late. No, not the drapes, or the two opposing magnets that wont meet in a darkened room in Arkansas. Noah's umbrella doesn't work, its unemployed, the thing wasn't deployed properly. Acid rain, beakers of the green stuff, jars of creatine, cretins in charge of the lab, retina scans wont work, they are unemployed also. Eyeb Halls, paint all over the plaice fish and a scene I can't quite place this. Frosting and glaze, lazy eye syndrome, too shoddy to compare, nothing can be replicated except the reptile's projectile vomit. But we choose to omit that scene from the film, then put the villain into witness protection for his own safety. The line between reality and fiction is blurred, or maybe you're just not aware you are not wearing your new pair of glasses. Google Glass, Bulletproof eye patch irritates your eyelashes, Bulletproof Monk, Mudder do thunk, think, that's the thing Nietz.. you don't think.. before you write.. you tend to use things before they are even piped into your mind. Type, don't even give the paper time to dry, and in the midst of this improvised bullshit, you don't tell us why the blog is about Sacrifice? FUCK YOU NIETZ! I QUIT! Wait dude, are you not first going to read what I writ? Wrote.. devotedly? Neither would I, we, they, them, you, us.. argh! Puppy Play, Pedal Pumping, Revel in Baselines, my playtime consists of a way to waste time by making fun of people's waistlines, or raise awareness like a campaign searching for A Missing Person. But these frigging words only end up worsening the situation. My own future is uncertain and unsustainable.

Okay, playtime is over, time to stink out the place with these sweaty odours.. But it can't happen, not while this Argentium keeps us smelling like a gentleman with rough hands that has been dealt tough cards in life... Cardboard boxes more like, sleeping in them, with a sign that says FRAGILE DO NOT TOUCH.. because you might end up with cardboard cuts or friction burns or a six-inch scar from tampering with the sticky tape.. Gaffer from Tampa Bay Florida.. I wish that rider would go with the flow and spend 90% of his life alone in a cyclone with his psycho clone that was created out of experimentation rather than necessity... You get the message here Dr. Messenger, who shit in his pants then ordered a hit man to aim the red dot on a nipple. The Tit Man. Sit down and listen to this potato waffle from a lecturer. He's got his head in a towel trying to revive Elvive shampoo, but how will the animals survive if you buy products that do cause so much pain and suffering? You give more money, it gives more encouragement to test on mite whice and runny babbits that have mascara put in their eyes, and you don't haveacara in the world? All to boost their finances and project false beauty with scientific chemicals that don't work. Yezzir e Bob would not approve such shite. If these fuckers had any sense, they would pause for thought, how about taking these chemicals and pouring them down their throats? Biyatches, tis all about the Human Image. We are nothing except a stopgap for the next age. It doesn't matter if you are a Mason, dumb or amazing, you're more flawed than four floats that don't float... You can't change the world Nietz. Who said I was trying to? I'd be lucky if I could change into a fresh pair of clothes every day. No time to shower, or be clean shaven.

Why get burnout when you can learn how to churn out shit like its a kind of gym workout.. Enough to make you break out in a sweat because of your debt problems. Pipe down, then drown in 9 episodes of Downton Abbey... But Abby has down syndrome, that's the twist, like a watch that can barely fit around your fat wrists. Or like a mattress that can hardly carry this fat shit. See the sign that says GET FIT? Follow its rule, its time to sweat bitch. If you slim down you'll be able to scratch that leg itch. Hell, maybe you wont need your medication. I'm joking apart, but seriously I've started walking again to stop putting a strain on my heart. Only 12 stone, and palpitations, chocolate the culprit, fatty ingredients? They are full of it. Coca cola too, Pepsip, curry, too much of a build-up of lactic.

Make music for fun man, give it to the masses, never start charging for the privilege, otherwise you forget about the true meaning of what you're making. If you choose a pile of money, then go sit in it someplace on your own. The enjoyment is having something to strive for, a struggle, to be kept on your toes, something that stops you from stalling, or becoming stale. A never-ending feeling that there is always an extra rung to climb to, that constant drug, to keep on keeping on. The show must go on and the fun must never stop. you must remain forever unstoppable, a pill poppable, not culpable for being a puppet. with the mentality of a corporate fuckwit.

399... Tick Tock... Calm Before The Storm... Tick Tock...


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DoomroarDoomroar

3/10/14

It was all imaginary.

Probably, if it is really an invention for lazy people, it should keep the users calm.

Eh? so goddamn bossy, can i leave the cult? what? i never entered!? i dodged the magnetic metaphysical bullet, like Noe from the Matrix? oh.. well then i will leave with no major noise.

Since it brings misery it can't be a bra size.

It the end it will be just pictures of water, sound of water raining down, and text that read water.

Full of organs from the New Achoogrounds, catching a cold was inhabitable, then you got bronchitis and it developed into asthma...


DoomroarDoomroar

3/4/14

Is all contraciktory and dicktatorial, but it has vaginities for those who like vanity.

I can see it being the way forward (and i like it), but what about the pleasure of taking a traditional shower or bath?

You are a leader now! but what principles do you follow? none! you are your own principle! however how does that even work? XD.

DDD is what brings conflict and misery into the world.

To think that we would go commercial with this... i am having conflicting feelings here.
Is such a great executed scam, that people have yet to find out about it, even if the only thing they know about the story is just a bunch of street rumors, and blog conspiracy theories, which we are also charging.

You don't feel more wonderful because you were already wonderful, ain't that wonderfully wonderful? is also wondrously wonderfully wonderful that you didn't got all full of yourself.

Da Grounds of New... of new what!? of new whaaaaaaaaaaat!!!?

3/10/14 nietzlawe responds:

Contradicktory? Dicktatorial? pfft.. these words aren't in the Dicktionary. They are in the Vaginary.

Yes, those pleasures might get phased out. As long as the drybath does the job, then I have no qualms, no need for facepalm. The drybath will help me stay calm. Or will it?

As a leader, I shall follow the tenets of the ten ETs. who all want to go home. "You're not fucking going home! None of you! Do I fucking make myself clear." Now that's a leader!

I think we all know what DDD is, apart from a triple shit-eating grin. Or a house with shit heating.. grim.

This Wikia will reach every portable phone on Earth. But before it reaches that point, it will have to be watered down. More watered down than a Watership Down Syndrome remake.

I didn't want to get full of myself, I am already full of myself, I couldn't possibly be full of anyone else, unless I'd partaken in dozens of organ transplants.

Da Grounds of New.. new.. neewww... ACHOO. Achoogrounds.


DoomroarDoomroar

3/2/14

You can access those futuristic GMOs using the cumpass.

The thing is not really all that expensive and while it was designed in principle to help a really lazy friend of the inventor, however it was adapted as a solution for places with limited access to water, which may also may mean that the overall price of drybath is an affordable one, however i don't have an official price for drybath so i can't defend this statement.

So the you that feared getting old and reincarnation is death now, aren't you happy? people normally don't notice when a part of their self dies.

That part of the secret to such a cursed song involves a demonic dog dick, actually makes sense for once!

You have to pay bitcoins for it? i thought we would keep this thing free of charge!

(Congrats on the Wonderful people mention BTW)

3/4/14 (Updated 3/4/14) nietzlawe responds:

A cumpass to access the rump steak ass. There is a guy on the street yelling 'Come and get your cumpasses.' Which is very contradicktory.

I'm all for changes to preserve our resources on Earth while keeping the environment in pristine condition. If a drybath is the way forward, then bring it on.

The part of me that died was the weakness to follow rather than lead. That was a happy funeral let me tell you. And thus far 'weakness to follow' has not been successfully reincarnated.

A DDD (demonic dog dick) being blamed as the root of all evil? I'd believe it.

Yes, but this is the Deep Web. We must charge an exorbitant fee, or should I say an exorbitcoinant fee. But this fee pays for the costs in keeping the Wikia page active, it pays for security to keep the page secure, it also pays for the court costs for being heavily libelous. The payee also receives a Which Castle Crashers Song membership pack that contains a t-shirt, pen, badge, random leaflets. But most of all, the exorbitcoinant fee pays for our expensive meals and high-class hookers.

It's just a damn shame that the Page could not be found. Talk about a scam!

The wonderful people thing was unexpected. I don't feel any more wonderful than I did, and just feel exactly the same. It was a nice sentiment to have a few of my songs recognised by the Supreme Leader though... Sir Thomas Fulp of Esq.

But now life goes on. The show goes on. Everything goes on. I owe my life to da Grounds of New.


I'm sure you'd be most welcome at Pico Day, if you could stowaway aboard a ship crossing the pond. I'd certainly put you up for a week. As a guest, I can get Tom to invite you... wanna see the guest list?

3/1/14 nietzlawe responds:

I'm in the process of sorting myself in that respect. Still need to get my passport renewed and countersigned, but I don't want to do any travelling just yet. Towards the end of this year is more realistic. I need to save a few pennies too.

Who is on the guest list? Anyone from the UK?


Glad to see Tom took notice of your sounds man! With all the time he puts in here, I guess your words of wonder would static up his brain... surprised he hasn't promoted good bloggers!

3/1/14 nietzlawe responds:

Yeah, it's really nice to get some Fulp Love. It surprised me seeing some of my tunes in that list. I saw it, then had to do a double-take and was like WTF?! I was like, Tom Fulp likes some of my tunes?!?! What the bloody hell is the world coming to?!

It just gives me more motivation to keep making tracks and writing, and do it more often. But importantly keep the music free forever.

I owe Newgrounds, it saved my life. I'll be forever indebted.


DoomroarDoomroar

2/27/14

GMO goes wrong, again hahaha.

Oh interesting, interesting i learned a little bit about tennis today, wait, no not really XD. However! i learned a little bit of implicit wordplay, or so i think?

I actually am seriously thinking on getting some of dat drybath, at the paths of my not so fast life, that is to say lazy, it seems like drybath could come handy.

But John Walter was your alter ego so in a way he never really died, as for Random Kid, yeah he is dead, he is so dead, that the worms feasting on his bloated cadaver are beginning to die too!

This will became one of those underground-cult-culture- controversial- stories, that can only be found if they are search for it using a deep web browser.

3/1/14 (Updated 3/1/14) nietzlawe responds:

GMO (genetically modified orgasms) a brave new world.

You learned some of the inner workings of my implicit explicitness. An oxymoron, a uberfoxy proxy from the Fort Knox of Amanda.

Did we really learn anything from today's lesson? I hope not!

Drybaths will replace wet baths. Or should I say, the rich will have drybaths and the rest of us will have smart meters.

John Walter died. But in a way, it was a good thing he died young, his worst fear was developing gerascophobia. He also had a fear of reincarnation.

Random Kid is more dead than a debunked myth. The fans are pissed off, but we're the writers, and we felt that his character arc had come to an end. His only purpose was to raise Demon Dog, who frankly.. I can't see having much of a character arc in the near future either. But his magnetic daemon tool could spare him the chop. In fact, I have a feeling that the devil himself will see the Daemon Tool as one of his ingredients.

Yeah. Which castle crashers song. Can only be accessed at s3d8h9a93jd3d.onion. And even then when you access the link, you have to enter a 128 digit password, solve 150 different CAPTCHAs in a row, all really incoherent. After that, you have to pay a small Bitcoin charge... Then a series of manual verification checks. Then you reach a button that says Which Castle Crashers Song - ENTER. Click button, so you click it and it says...

404 Not Found.


DoomroarDoomroar

2/26/14

Are these the rumored potatoes that you don't like? http://lh6.ggpht.com/_OfIjQBevFMU/TNhdK4NaPoI/AAAAAAAAHbM/atf4jxZDInw/None.jpg
If the answer is yes, then funny enough those are my favorite kind of potatoes, they are delicious if you fry them, or if you gratin them while soaking them in cheese and milk cream, man now i want to have some.

For real man, is ok to not shave, but take a shower at least! and that reminds me of this awesome product, which came recently and while i have not tried it, it sure does seem like quite the novel invention: https://www.headboy.org/drybath/

400... it was not a humble clock, it stopped its tick tocks, it seems it died, it is over now, talking about death how many characters have we killed, like death for real other than Danger and the Twisted Owl? they all seem to evade death, fake death, or come back as a robot... we need to start killing some of them again!

2/26/14 (Updated 2/26/14) nietzlawe responds:

No, the potato in question is a tiny freakish potato that was in the bag when we bought a bag of regular-sized potatoes. Believe it or not, we kept the small potato just for shits and giggles. I might take a picture of it and put it on the Dumping Grounds.

So that is where the potato story originated from. You can make mash from potatoes and Maria Sharapova's nickname is 'Masha' so that is where that link came from, which leads me on to Maria---My Rear and so on.

I love not to shave, it's too itchy being clean-shaven. There are too many gimmicky novel inventions. We will just have to wait until these types of things are phased in before we really take them seriously.

399 was just the calm before the storm... 400, now I heard that one was a major bloodbath. The ship hit some turbulence and by Dog.. I'm too traumatised to even talk about what the mighty 400 has in store!

I'm more than happy for characters in our story to die. Permanently die I mean, never to return. Random Kid looks done for, being drowned in that lake, there is no coming back from that one. Jon Walter, he also died, his corpse is 31% rotted as we speak.

PEGI-13? Pfft.. don't make me fucking laugh. They are already puking up at the Cannes Film Festival.