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Entry #351

Going Great Guns

4/8/13 by nietzlawe

GOING GREAT GUNS

Its amazing what some people do to get their kicks... Pay for them with money at the counter of the store I assume. But why should I assume that I lied on my resume? Then for some strange reason soon after, I die while I meditate. And the general thesis is suicide. 'Addicted to medication,' they said. The media play it down, sweep it underneath the carpet and clean it down with Harpic. Hard Luck Nietzlawe, that's just, How It Goes. But someone tiptoed into my domain and strangled me with whipcord. What for? There were no motives? Don't ask me, I'm in the early stages of rigor mortis. I lay no claims to know, or support this prognosis. All I know is I've had my throat ripped raw with whipcord. Its, not ideal, but life has a way of stabbing you in the back like a woman's high heel. You just gotta learn to roll with the punches and not fall with the punches, or you'll be on the floor crawling for your crutches. You just gotta be tougher than that, struggle and suffer, lap it all up. Don't get down and dilapidated, get up and laugh yourself into a happy state of mind. Be elated, Be grateful for the plateful of food on your motherfuckin' fatherfuckin' table. Don't put yourself in a position where you're unable to stabilize, or save another person's life using a surgeon's knife. "That feeling of helping others, it feels real nice, better than choosing evil... right?" Helping other people gives me an ever-peaceful freedom from an evil state of mind. It's all about correcting those silly mistakes of mine. To do what's right, to choose what act of kindness I offer as my guidance. To meet the like-minded and fight mightily to open the eyes of the blinded. So that we can all be united, as one, instead of divided, into one.

But that still doesn't solve my so-called suicide. Maybe it was career suicide, but how would I know how to do it right? I haven't had suicidal training. No experience with guns, needles or nooses. I'm useless, I wouldn't know how to do this. Which makes this death all the more suspicious, and the cover up rumours more vicious. What did I do wrong? Displease the few? Make a Jew feel uneasy which made it really easy for him to shoot me? But I don't hate anyone. So why would anyone want me to be gone? It'd be wrong, on so many levels, like somebody who had just signed a pact with the devil, then got fat, while sat reminiscing his war medals. Remembering what he had done for his country. Got patriotic, lit up a narcotic to block out the neurotic. The deception, the Shellshock, the conscription, the prescription for forced antibiotics. Dying for nothing, told that he was fighting for good things. The good cause, gauze, the most noble of blood sports. Wow, you click your fingers, and I'm here, in Korea, you're safe, nowhere near. I'm your lemming, condemning war, what am I here for? In the battleground of this nuclear war. Caught in the middle of this enigmatic governmental riddle of injustice and corruption like a gullible little piggy. It just niggles me. I ask why me and not you? Why am I collateral? What makes me so dispensable? What makes you so inapprehensible? so irresponsible, so fucking horrible? Slaves to the one-eyed monocle. This diabolical leadership.


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I saw a man with some Chinese symbols on the back of his neck and I was like, "Why does it say soy sauce on the back of your neck?" and he gave me an annoyed glance and said, "It's my daughter's name!"
So I asked, "Why is your daughter named Soy Sauce?"

4/19/13 nietzlawe responds:

You seem to meet a lot of oriental people with tattoos. Maybe you're the crazy one!!

"Yeah, d-d-don't come any c-c-closer Eric.. s-stay back!" I'm holding some Soy Sauce here and I'm not afraid to use it as a weapon!"

A weapon of mass decoration on that meal your eating.


I met a young Japanese woman today, she had the word shoe tattooed on her arm. I asked her, "Why do you have that tattoo?" she told me it meant, "love" in English.

4/18/13 nietzlawe responds:

I don't get it. But then am I supposed to.

Cha Cha Cha. Cah Cah Cah Cah Cah!

Japanese girls are mysterious... yet beautiful, so it works for me.


Birthdays used to be cool... back when we were young and we hung out with friends, ate cake or kicked back a few beers... whatever it is people with friends do. Oh wait, I never had that. No one ever came over to celebrate my birthday. Those creeps... that assdouche! Made a fool out of me... A FOOL!!! I don't want to talk about it.

4/17/13 nietzlawe responds:

I'll always say this, why wait until your birthday before having any kind of celebration? I say celebrate whenever you damn well feel like it. Every day is a celebration, a toast to remind ourselves that we are alive. Birthdays just happen to be on the date which we were born, big deal, if you think about it, rejoicing on the very date we were born is actually kind of stupid, there's no real symbolism or purpose to it.

In the future people will be celebrating with each other through Facebook. And those beers? Well, they will be just virtual beers. 'Catherine has sent you a fake beer." -- "Err, o k, what the hell am I supposed to do with that? Pretend to drink it, then slur my response to her and pretend I'm drunk?"

Actually that may just be crazy enough to work. Or was it, I'm just crazy and it wont work? I can never remember, my memory is failing me, and it's all because I'm going to hit the big 3 zero, then turn into a mythological monster called......

...... Dave.


You can't escape the march of time Nietzlawless!

4/15/13 nietzlawe responds:

One day we will all perish and there is nothing we can do about it.

Nothing!!

... Unless... we, go back in t...

Nope, there's nothing we can do.

Except cry. Cry into our beards, and if we haven't got beards, we shall grow them and cry into those. We'll collect enough tears to trade them for fears on the black market.

That market has been black ever since that aircraft carrier dropped 700 kilos of soot. You can't blame me, I wasn't flying the plane.

But I did watch the whole event...... from the co-pilot's seat.

Oh yeah, birthdays. I remember those...


Your Birthday's coing, isn't it?

4/15/13 nietzlawe responds:

Coming soon to a cinema near you.

But also to a cinema really far from everyone else.

Birthdays are overrated, like Green and Black dark chocolate.


Stop looking at prawnography. >:(

Trust in my benevolent leadership. Biodiversity isn't the only way.

4/13/13 nietzlawe responds:

Your leadership qualities are unprecedented, never equalled or bettered, who needs pron ographic rapeaphy? There is more fun to be had in being dysfunctional, disillusioned and devastated by several types of ruination, like accidentally having a ruined orgasm during urination. I'm feeling hungry Eric, hung out to dry on the washing line.

I am so hungry, its becoming fundamentally fun to be mental. Its time to run again, like an all-day all-night boat race. No longer po-faced, rat-arsed or shitfaced. Don't ask me how this shit tastes, I'm not into this new-wave shit craze. I'm just a nobody that ships crates of creosote and creatine to create dreams. You should be grateful for this crateful of hateful spew. Well that's how you misinterpret this infected tergent. There has been a resurgence in Nietzlawe's urgency, an Immersion heater at Sea. Burnham-On-Nintendo-Wii. Where were we? Hiding? Like Heidi? She had no Idea where her fake ID was, or her twin sister The Fake Heidi who was doing the Harlem Shake. She didn't, but that's what the Witnesses said, the Lochnesses didn't say anything at all, they were too busy dodging camera phones and trying to remain hidden and obscure so that the Scottish people were not sure if the pictures they had seen were a sea lion or Rod Stewart. Sod Stewie Griffin's art, what about Sod's Law? Which is the equivalent of God's Law. Ancient bones are a mystery that only Dog's Gnaw. I'd rather be Agnostalgic. Not remembering if I enjoyed Ye Times Gone By, maybe I should just let sleeping dogs lie, to get away with their canine crimes! Dogs can double-cross you leave you in the dirt-E-Harry film sequel. I don't want to be the new Harry Callahan driving through France with Yasser Arafatbastard. I'd rather go to Mount Ararat and sing RAH RAH RAH music. Moshing, sloshed, on NG, running on empty while its only a couple of weeks until Pico Day. but Nietz-is-just-a-freak-of-nay... ture. He may not celebrate, after all, he doesn't even celebrate his own birthday. Why should I rejoice on the day I was born? It means nothing. Time is nothing more than a manmade estimation. You are oldly as old as you feel. Well I feel nothing, so that must make me ancient. "Oldly? Is that a word?" Shut the ficky fack up conscientious! Stop patronising me, you're supposed to be on my Syde! Clamber on my back and let Nietz take you for a piggy back ride to the Bingo Hall. Bingo! Fuck Bingo! We are too cool to play Bingo, we're young free and single, and only want to mingle with people that eat Pringles, or prime beef steak. Not nerds who like to know about Prime Numbers and find old jumpers in fields that belong to murder victims. Oh Good Lordy Lord, he's just discovered forty-four abandoned Ford Escorts, some tangled ripcords and a dozen hip bones. Oh Good Lordy Lord its a crime scene, where nine witnesses have seen murky business, scared witless. They needed great fitness to escape before they too became CaNNoN FoDDeR.


What about the middle man? What about the little man?

4/10/13 nietzlawe responds:

What about the little man stood in the middle of the middle man and the brittle man who couldn't take being belittled by those two fickle men?

He committed Suzy Side...... to an insane asylum, deep in the Scottish Highlands.

Little did he know...... that he was... well...... little!

Ahh, I lost track of time there, as I was staring at that rack of fine boobs.


Polish ing.

4/9/13 nietzlawe responds:

Poleaxed by a Pole with an axe. The axe was Paul's. Paul Sachs.


Confusing. I was thinking the character reached nirvana at the beginning, meditating, then overdosed, then was shot by somebody else, and what's with the career suicide? :/ This could use some polishing.

4/9/13 nietzlawe responds:

How some people get their kicks, i.e. sneakers.

Career suicide? My double meaning for Korea suicide. It's about how the innocent get conscripted into wars they didn't start, whilst lacking in experience and how to use weaponry. The one-eyed monocle? People that script wars don't fight wars, and all that comes out of it is pain, shellshock and deception.

The first paragraph is about being murdered for choosing not to become a war pawn. That person only saw the good in others, and wanted a world of peace, harmony, love and laughter. After refusing to be conscripted, the person was killed as punishment. The killer used sneakers so that he could strangle his victim without being heard or seen. After the killing, prescription pills were scattered about the place, and the world assumed that the death was suicide.