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WARNING! The following quotes were created under the influence of soberness.
Triumphantly dry humping the hole of a trumpet.
Racism is so stupid, how often do you laugh at the grass because it's green.
Why be controversial when you can be introvertial.
Now you've gone and opened up Pandora's Boxer shorts.
Why is that woman humping the air? Because she was trying to fuck a snowman and it melted.
Giving cunnilingus to a tribe member in Tonga, I'm growing fonder by the day of the girl in Tonga, our love is getting stronger than someone who can pull a two-tonne truck using only their testicles alonga road in Tonga.
I don't like classical music, but the hairs on the back of my neck do.
You broke my arm? YOU BROKE MY ARM!? I BROKE YOUR FUCKING ENTIRE ARMY WITH MY INTERROGATION METHODS!!"
So I said to the anarexic girl, "for fuck sake, start eating some food.. show a little backbone will ya! No, not that much backbone!!"
Will I am. Will I ever like his music, Will I fuck. Can't sing, dresses like someone who has just got out of a racing car. Rene Descartes never said, I think, therefore Will I am did he? Neither did William draw an eye on his yam.
Pastry and chocolate, the perfect combination for any heart attack inducing enthusiast.
"Pain is horrible, why can't God switch pain off in the options settings? It's his game after all," said the believer.
That solution is about as useful as swallowing an ipad tablet to cure your headache.
Sitting in the dark, wallowing with that hollow ring in my ears. Tinnitus.
I intend to go against absolutely everything except the grain just to be awkward.
I met an heterosexual puffin drag.
I took some horse meat to the top of the Empire State Building, the steaks couldn't possibly be any higher.
I'm not sure how to make a new news post on NG, I must be suffering from Writers Blog.
Whose sick idea was it to put the fun in funeral?
Life is arduous, "I said 'hard' you ass!!"
It would have been cool if Thomas Edison's son was called Eddie and he had a son called Thomas.
I'm feeling so tired I like like I could just ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff fffffff