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I am here to make a difference, isn't that why we're all here?

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11 days ago by nietzlawe


Its sad when all you've got is gone. Your one slice of comfort. Its there somewhere at the back of your mind, but you can't reach it. And pull it out. To share with the world. And when you failed in your quest from all the pushing and pulling to arrest this slump. To find that fun. You just made that hole deeper. It left you no clearer. So sad and weary and too drained to keep up appearances. No longer a part of something. No pipe and slippers, or feet under the NG table. But by the power of Greyskull, you will get it back, and put the feeling back into that difficult second album. Reconnect with your fellow man, share jokes, mellowing out. Instead of your brain swelling from selling out. Afraid of the process, a slave to the process instead of just playing with the process. That's how progress came, when you were carefree and thoughtless. But when you approached things more carefully you became hopeless. Just a bogus fraud, who brought the Opus but neglected your friends. You took your fucking eye off the ball, and lost focus. Writing a new piece and wondering why it had no soul. You should have seen this coming. This moment. A thousand miles into the future. When the process is no longer a novelty and new to you. You should have listened, look at what it can do to you. When you're no longer true to you. To the point where your sobbing your eyes. It screws with your mind being blind to the truth. And the lies that do damage. But just hope that you manage to pull through. And dig, but do it the way you did it. Instead of doing it for others. That way you can look at these tower blocks as a collection of memories. Something to look back on as a true body of representation. Instead of resentment and hatred and randomly savage statements. Misinformation sucks dick, I'd rather breed inspiration than write for shock horror, and feel satiated inside. I'd rather swallow my pride and share my sorrow than exert false bravado. And that's teh truth. And how do I know its the truth? Because it brings a tear to my fucking eye that's why. As over the months I wrote a piece and forgot what it was to cry. To summon emotion, to feel something. And for that I apologise. I want to say sorry. For not wearing my heart on my body. Churning out the same shit, the same tsunami of rancid salami. All because I couldn't find the words by nature. So I conjured up a bunch of statements, that I was ashamed to put to paper. A waste of labour, they left a sour taste. A flavour I just couldn't quite place. They weren't memories I could savour or look back later. And say, 'I'm proud of that one.' They just left me feeling vacant, not like something I'd created. A stranger's words. But writers' blocks a dangerous curse. You lose your will, you dig, you fight with all your life and might in the hope that one day you might just get back that light and spark which made you bright. That hunger. That childlike appetite.

This Music Drug Dance Song
TOS - The Approach Cinematic Song
Skim (short loop) Hip Hop - Modern Loop
TOS - Curiosity Killed TJ Cinematic Song

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